Society's a Platypus
by Olympian876
Summary: Random
1. Platypeople!

**Society's a Platypus! (Or that random topic on Facebook)**

_A short story for HuntressOfTheSky13 and The Girl Who Danced with Fire_

"Hey Percy, what are you doing?" Annabeth asked.

"Society's a platypus!" Percy shouted angrily.

"What?" Annabeth asked shocked, "What are you talking about, Percy?"

"My ex-girlfriend's a platypus!" Conner screamed with him.

"I seriously have no idea what-" Annabeth started.

"Here's a fun fact, that y'all should know!" Grover started to say, "Everybody has a platypuses or is it platypi? or platypuseses?"

"It could be platypeople!" Chiron added.

"Or platypies." Conner joined in.

"PLATYCOWS!" Percy screamed.

"WHAT THE HADES IS-" Annabeth yelled.

"PLATYZILLA, HOME DOG!" Grover cut the poor demigod off.

"PLATYGOD!" Mr. D chimed.

"Even better, PLATYGOD'S BOSS!" Chiron retorted.

"Touche!" Mr. D chuckled.

"Platyzeus!" Conner yelled.

Thunder rumbled and lightning struck Conner frying the Son of Hermes. Conner blew out a puff of smoke, "Sorry dude! Chill out!"

"Platypower Rangers!" Percy screamed.

"Platycandle." Grover put in.

"Platywerewolf (for those who cannot visualize the Platywerewolf, think of Taylor Lautner with a bill)." Conner gagged.

"Platyvampire." Rachel added happily.

"Huh? Where did you come from?" Annabeth asked.

Completely ignoring her, Percy added, "Platymonkeys!"

"Platygrover!" Grover chuckled.

"Platypercy!" Percy screamed.

"Platyfergie!" Conner exclaimed.

Everybody looked at him funny. But, Conner shrugged, "What? She's hot!"

"Dude, she forty!" Everybody screamed at the fried demigod

"She's thirty-five!" Conner screamed.

"She's not hot!" Annabeth yelled.

"You don't understand!"

"Platytaboo!" Thalia added.

"Where are you guys coming from?" Annabeth screamed, obviously annoyed.

"Platydobby!"

"What is that?"

"Dobby with a bill!"

"What's a Dobby?"

"Platysnooki!" Rachel yelled.

"Jersey Shore sucks!" Annabeth screamed angered.

"Platymegan Fox!" Conner added.

"Now, that's hot!" Percy replied as Annabeth shot daggers at him.

"Platykronos!" Annabeth blurted.

"Who dares speak my name?" Kronos roared.

"Annabeth, Lord Kronos!" Percy pointed at Annabeth.

"Did you assist her, child?"

"No, rip her head off." Percy jumped up and down.

"Who the **** are you?"

"I'm your grandson!"

"Who gives anything for you!"

With that, Kronos beat Percy to a pulp... Everybody was screaming their heads off until Kronos left. Annabeth started to speak once more, "So what was the platypus deal?"

Everybody looked at her strangely, "PLATYANNABETH!"

**A/N: This is not a random story. This happened on Facebook (shout-out to my homies on Facebook)... So, reasons you should review.**

**1. If you think Fergie is hot.**

**2. If you think Megan Fox is hot.**

**3. If you have a platy*fill in blank* to share.**

**Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving, dudes and dudettes! Olympian876 out!**


	2. Paul x Piper

_What the Hell?_

Paul/Piper or Paper.

Before authors write books, the characters tend to exist on scraps of paper living in their own world adapting their own characters. Piper was a twenty-one year old girl. While Paul was in his early thirties. Note, characters tend to pick their own age if they hate the author...

"I can't believe we've been going out for five years." Piper whispered in her lover's ear.

"I can't believe I'm dating you." Paul whispered back.

"I know." Piper giggled.

Then, the intimate scene changed randomly, just because that's what happens, okay? (Don't judge me!)

"Shut up! Just shut up! Shut up!" Piper shouted.

"You and I were just fine you know. We wine and dine. You know, walked on a beach and stuff, you know." Paul replied.

"What the heck are you doing?"

"That was a different day."

"No, it... What?"

"It was the same dang thing, same etcetera, blah blah blah!" Paul screamed.

Scene changes from what seems like Black Eyed Peas music video gone wrong to where they are aware that they are story characters. Piper was holding Paul's hand, with her head on her shoulder.

"Hey! It's Paper!" A guy (who was going to be Grover) shouted.

"Yeah, Mr. Elmo, we exist on paper. We're just words that will make an old author/dad famous."

"No, that's your pairing name! Paper! Paul + Piper = Paper!"

"Paper? Paper?" Piper yelled, "Call us Pill! Wait! Piul!"

Suddenly, a man in his late forties started his computer. Then he just read what you just read to yourself. From there on, he paired Piper with Jason, and Paul with Sally. That man was Rick Riordan.

A/N: Paul Blofis with Piper McClean? Don't hurt me! But I just thought of pairings with nickname (e.g. Percabeth, Thalico, Zera, Silenadorf) and thought of Paul and Piper and thought of their name together. Don't hurt me, I'm bored. Okay, see ya.


	3. Can of Beer

Can of Beer

A mortal's way of life

Parody of Rocketeer

Here we go, come with me,

There's a world out there that we can't see,  
Take my hand, close your eyes  
With you right here, get me a can of beer

Let's die, die, die, dieee.  
Down, down, there we go, go. Down, down, there we go, go.  
Let's die, die, die, dieee.  
Down, down, there we go, go.  
Where we stop Aunt Jemima knows [knows],

Where we go we hate farting toads [toads],  
Rachel, stop picking your nose [nose],  
To the malls if you really want it,  
Got, got a backpack with your name on it,  
Here on ground in the atmosphere [phere],  
Just say the words and we get some beer [get some beer],  
Grab a torch if you feelin' scared [scared],  
We drinkin' now we outta beer.

Here we go, come with me,

There's a world out there that we can't see,  
Take my hand, close your eyes  
With you right here, get me a can of beer

Let's die, die, die, dieee.  
Down, down, there we go, go. Down, down, there we go, go.  
Let's die, die, die, dieee.  
Down, down, there we go, go.  
Where we stop Aunt Jemima knows [knows]

A/N: You might be thinking, "What the hell?" But my friend wrote that. And he asked me to post it. So I did. Okay, big speech. Now that 2010 is coming to a close, I'd like to thank all of those people who in the short span of nine months have favorited me, subscribed to me, reviewed my stories. All of those have made me feel good inside. I have over six-hundred people visiting everyday to each story. So, yeah. Olympian876 out.


	4. FAQ Answered II

Hey guys. A lot of people ask questions via reviews, e-mails, Private Messages about me. So, I decided to answer these questions. Starting now.

**First Question**

Q. Are you dating?

A. Currently, yes.

**Second Question**

Q. If so, do you have a pet name for her?

A. Godzilla (I call her that affectionately)

**Third Question**

Q. I want to be just like you. How do I do that?

A. You don't want to be like me. Trust me

**Fourth Question**

Q. Are you related to Rick Riordan, J.K. Rowling, or Stephen King?

A. Sadly, no. But it was rumored I was related to Gollum or Dobby.

**Fifth Question**

Q. What is the right age for me to date?

A. Forty-two!

**Sixth Question**

Q. Are we ever going to see your brother or niece's fanfic up here soon?

A. My niece is just a few hours old. And my brother is possibly not going to graduate elementary school.

**Seventh Question**

Q. Did you create Ekkhn Klann?

A. Yes and no. Yes, it was an idea to create the collab group. No, I did not make the account.

P.S. If you don't know what Ekkhn Klann is. Search Ekkhn Klann in Author section here. You'll find us.

**Eighth Question**

Q. Who were the planned/original Ekkhn Klann members

A. Well, maximumride123 and I were original members. Except it wasn't called Ekkhn Klann then. It was called a collaboration. Back to the question. I planned for Qoheleth, maximumride123, HuntressOfTheSky13, and me. And due to the collab story we were working on at that time, Qoheleth declined unfortunately. Shame though, he was pretty much the first author I started to read on FanFiction.

**Ninth Question**

Q. Are there any old collab stories before Ekkhn Klann?

A. So many questions on Ekkhn Klann! Well, one. The Not So Excellent Quest for Harmonia. Which will be republished sometime during the spring on Ekkhn Klann. But if you want to see the very original visit my profile or maximumride123's.

**Tenth Question**

Q. My whole neighborhood reads your stories everyday. We think you are the best author on FanFiction.

A. Thanks for the support! But I'm not the best author. Out of the thousands here, I don't compare to any of them.

**Eleventh Question**

Q. Name your favorite Percy Jackson author.

A. bloomingauthor7 was the original Percy Jackson author. Qoheleth is pretty cool too. And me of course. And don't be offended if I didn't mention you. All of you are awesome. But I had to pick them because they are full of amazing-ness and awesome.

**Twelfth Question**

Q. Do you have any pets?

A. One dog that looks like an albino Toto.

**Thirteenth Question**

Q. If you have any, what's his/her name?

A. Louis.

**Fourteenth Question**

Q. You put a lot of people you know as guest stars in Percy's Incredibly Stupid Adventures. Will we see your girlfriend as a guest star?

A. I don't think you'll see Godzilla in there. Because I stretch the personalities of the authors. If I stretched her personality. Her cuteness would break the computer.

**Okay, I'm done! Thank you for the questions. Keep on favoriting and subscribing to me. **


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